How to Reward Yourself for Good Habits (Without Guilt)

Why rewards work best when they're immediate

We usually start a habit for a far-off payoff: feeling fitter, a tidier home, better sleep. But the far-off payoff isn't what keeps us going day to day.

In a set of five studies, Kaitlin Woolley and Ayelet Fishbach at the University of Chicago found that immediate rewards, like enjoying the activity while you do it, predicted whether people stuck with goals such as New Year's resolutions, studying and exercise. The delayed benefits didn't predict it nearly as well.

So the trick isn't a big prize at the end. It's making each small step feel good now.

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7 ways to reward yourself for good habits

1. Make the habit itself nicer. A playlist for the dishes, a favourite mug for your water, a walk with a friend. This is the reward that works every single time.
2. Bundle it with a treat. Save something you love for while you do the habit: a podcast or audiobook only while you walk, a show only while you fold laundry. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania tried this with gym-only audiobooks, and people went to the gym noticeably more often at first, though the effect faded after a holiday break.
3. Celebrate the moment you finish. A tick, a little "done!", a stretch, a sticker on a calendar. Small and instant beats big and late.
4. Use rewards that fit the habit. After a run, a slow shower, not a reason to skip the next run. After saving money, a tiny treat, not a shopping trip.
5. Make progress visible. A jar of marbles, a paper chain, flowers on a path in an app. Seeing small things add up is rewarding in itself.
6. Plan a bigger treat for later, gently. A new book after a month of reading, a café visit after a few weeks of walks. Keep it fun, not a test you can fail.
7. Let someone cheer. Tell a friend, or let a pet (real or on your phone) react. Being noticed is a reward too.

Small reward ideas that cost little or nothing

• Ten minutes of a game or a show
• A cup of tea in your favourite mug
• Time outside in the sun
• A long bath or shower
• A new song added to your playlist
• A sticker, a stamp or a colour on your calendar
• Calling someone you like
• A nap
• A fresh notebook page or a doodle
• A walk somewhere new

How to reward yourself without guilt

Guilt usually comes from two places: rewards that feel "earned" only if you're perfect, and punishing yourself for missed days. Some ways around both:

• Reward showing up, not perfection. Doing a smaller version still counts as doing it.
• Don't take rewards back. If you missed yesterday, today's reward is still today's.
• Skip the punishment. In a 2010 study of how habits form, led by Phillippa Lally at UCL, missing a single day had little effect on how automatic a habit became. Many missed days did add up, so the answer is to come back, not to punish.
• Expect it to take a while. In that same study, habits took 66 days on average to become automatic, ranging from 18 to an estimated 254 days. Slow isn't failing.
• Choose kind words. "I'm back" works better than "I failed again".

A simple plan you can start today

1. Pick one habit and shrink it until it's easy: one glass of water, one page, one minute of stretching.
2. Pick one instant reward from the list above.
3. Pick one place to see progress: a calendar, a jar, or an app.
4. Decide that a missed day means nothing. You just start again tomorrow.

Where an app can help

Apps can do the instant-reward part for you. In Miso: Little Cat, Small Steps, our own app (coming soon), every finished task fills a little cat's energy and earns a fish biscuit treat for Miso's outfits and room. When the energy bar is full, Miso goes on an adventure and brings you a keepsake, and grows from kitten to grown cat as you keep showing up. Nothing drains and nothing is taken away, which is the "without guilt" part. Other apps reward you differently: see Apps like Finch and cute habit tracker apps for iPhone.